Friday, October 16, 2009

Remembering a little girl who changed my life forever...

Yesterday was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day. And although I don't need a specific day to remember my sweet daughter (I think of her every day), it's still nice sometimes to honor these days with some special thoughts. And I thought I would share them with you today.

It's been over 2 1/2 years since we lost our little Danica. Where does the time go? I can still feel the weight of her in my arms, and smell her sweet smell as if it was only yesterday. Loosing a child is probably the most painful thing one can ever experience. I've been through alot of loss in my life (including my dad and a brother), but nothing compares to the pain of losing a child.

It took us 20 months to conceive her after our first pregnancy ended in miscarriage. So when we saw those two pink lines on the pregancy test back in September 2006 we were over the moon. Little did we know then, about the pain we were going to face.

Danica was born at only 29 weeks, on March 21st, 2007 (her Daddy's Birthday)! But there were many complications with her birth, and unfortunately we only had 5 short hours with her. But those were the BEST 5 hours of my life, and I wouldn't trade them for the world! I feel very blessed to have had our sweet girl in my life -- she changed me in so many ways and taught me so much in such a short amount of time. Who knew such a little person could make such a big impact?

We love & miss you sweetheart!

A person's a person, no matter how small. ~Horton Hears a Hoo (Dr. Seuss)

(aka: Mommy)

8 comments:

  1. Aw...that gave me chills! I can't even imagine what you've gone through. **hugs**

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  2. {{HUGS}} I have a friend who just lost a child that had spina bifida at 5 months pregnant. She was torn. :-(

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  3. Awww.Catherine I am so sorry for your loss I can ONLY imagine what you and your hubby have been through I am sending big {{HUGS}} your way tonight:)
    Cecile

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  4. That's a very touching post, Catherine. It is my hope that you and your husband will be blessed w/a new baby to love very soon. hugs, patti

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  5. Catherine, my heart goes out to you. I know the pain...my son was stillborn at 23 weeks in 2001. Continue to cherish those 5 hours...I wish with all my heart that I'd had even a few hours.

    I feel especially sad for your husband that he will always have to associate his birthday with your loss. Our loss, even after 9 years, weighs heavily on us every year on the anniversary.

    I can promise you that the weight of that loss amplifies the joy of being a mommy when that comes to you, though. I cherish my daughter and appreciate the small joys she brings us all the more because we lost her brother.

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  6. I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, Catherine but this post was really a beautiful tribute to her. Thank you for sharing!
    xox

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  7. Thanks everyone.

    Nancy - that's the thing. She has changed us to think more positive and hubby's birthday is even more special now because for us it's not the day our daughter died -- rather we think of it as the day she was born. And that's something we love to celebrate!

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  8. I'm a little late to the party, but not new to the story. Thanks for sharing it with us again. Since the last time we discussed Danica, we've adopted our daughter, who was also born at 29 weeks. I'm reminded how special it is that she is alive and running around and full of life.

    Maybe the little (ok, massive!) daily challenges she presents me with aren't that bad...

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